February Letter to Satō Haruo from Dazai Osamu

Written February 5, 1936. The letter was one metre long. Dazai’s previous letter to Satō can be read here. Translated by Laurie Raye.

Original Text: 記憶の宮殿 / Memory Palace

---

Dear Sir,

I will not waste your time by telling any lies or uttering even the smallest of falsehoods.

I am only ever thinking about the act of dying and the material anguish that piles up around me. Mr Satō, I am relying solely on you. I know I owe you an immense debt of gratitude. I have produced excellent work so far, and I will continue to write even more superb novels, but right now I don’t even want to live for another ten years! I’m a decent person. I am holding on, but up until now fortune has not been on my side and I have come all the way up to the brink of death. If I receive the Akutagawa Prize, I would be moved to tears by your compassion. Consequently, no matter what kind of suffering I must endure, I could keep on living. I would feel revitalised. Please help me, don’t make fun of me. Mr Satō, you are the only one who can save me. 

Please don’t despise me, I will definitely repay you.

Would it be better if I paid you a visit in person? Just tell me what day to come and when, neither heavy snow nor pouring rain could keep me from your door. Trembling and full of despair, I offer this prayer.

Respectfully yours,

Homeless Sparrow Osamu